As the new school year unfolds, many parents are grappling with the spectre of bullying threatening their children.
Indeed, with Federal Education Minister Jason Clare initiating a nationwide review into school bullying (late 2024), efforts are under way to establish a national standard for dealing with the problem.
The statistics are stark.
Previous data suggest that about one-third of children are entangled in “offline” or “traditional” bullying, and about 16 per cent online, according to Professor Kathryn Modecki, of The Kids Research Institute Australia (The Kids) – pictured below.
Professor Modecki is a world-class youth mental health researcher and you can check out our video interview with her below, which covers questions including:
- What causes bullying
- The telltale signs of bullying
- How to react if you think your child is being bullied
- What to do if you believe your child is being bullied
What is bullying?
Bullying occurs when someone intentionally and repeatedly engages in harmful behaviour that can risk someone else’s wellbeing. It can take several forms:
Physical bullying: Hitting, pushing, tripping
Verbal bullying: Insults and teasing
Social bullying: Spreading rumours, exclusion, and harming another’s reputation
Cyberbullying: Texts, posts, using the digital realm to engage in negative, aggressive behaviours.
How common is bullying in Australia?
According to The Kids, one in four Australian students (27%) experiences bullying at least once every few weeks, with school bullying highest among students in Year 5 and 8.
“Worldwide we find that the prevalence of offline or traditional bullying is about 35 per cent. Online we find it’s about 16 per cent, and we don’t find many differences across countries,” says Prof Modecki.
“So around fifth or sixth grade bullying tends to peak.
“Bullying is a broad term. We have physical aggression, which peaks much younger (around fifth or sixth grade) than relational aggression, such as keeping people out of relationships, putting them down and the things that are most associated with online bullying.
“Females tend to engage more in relational aggression, and boys more in physical aggression.
“A few years ago however I was contacted by a number of schools in Queensland where they were finding a lot of physical bullying and aggression occurring amongst the girls.”
Is bullying increasing?
With cyberbullying and online harassment compounding the challenges faced by children in an already complex social landscape, Australia will ban children under 16 from accessing some social media platforms.
While the legislation was passed in late 2024, it is believed it will not take effect for at least 12 months.
In any case, there is little research to suggest a ban is the answer to concerns about bullying that occurs online, according to Prof Modecki.
“A common question is whether bullying is increasing – particularly online,” she says. “We’re doing a study to find if that is the case, but I would argue that’s unlikely – in terms of online – because kids tend to know it can be easier to prove with a digital footprint.
“There also tend to be very clear consequences such as ‘zero tolerance’ for online bullying or aggression.”
The telltale signs of bullying
Be mindful of changes in behaviour, such as withdrawal, anxiety, or reluctance to go to school.
These can provide early warning signs that a child might be experiencing bullying.
“When a child is being victimised at school, they might just isolate – or, depending on the child – they might be embarrassed, or they may want to come off as things are going better than they are,” says Prof Modecki.
“Other things we tend to see is that their grades slip. Their behaviour might change. Let’s say they used to be part of a rugby team but now they really don’t want to be part of that.”
Signs children are being physically bullied may include frequent loss or damage to items such as clothing, requests for extra lunch or pocket money, and unexplained bruises or cuts.
What should parents do if they suspect their child is being bullied?
Establishing everyday communication with your child is paramount, before you expect bullying is an issue.
Prof Modecki says one of her best pieces of advice for parents when it comes to online concerns is: “Be their coach where possible, rather than a referee.
“By showing relational support and openness for two-way dialogue, you’ll be in a better position to know and understand what children and teens are experiencing online, and hence be in a better position to help.”
The Victorian Government website encourages parents to:
Stay calm and positive: Although upsetting when your child is being bullied, focus on identifying a solution.
Talk with the school: You do not need to ask your child’s permission to talk with the school, although understandably children who are being bullied often worry that any action will worsen the situation.
Keep your child safe: You should contact the school immediately if you believe your child’s safety is at risk.
Talk with your child: Assure your child it is not their fault. Encourage them to talk about what happened. Discuss strategies.
For victims, it is essential to know where to seek help. Young people facing bullying can reach out to trusted adults, such as parents, teachers, and school counsellors.
School administrations often have anti-bullying policies and resources, while community organisations and helplines such as Kids Helpline (1800 551 800) provide confidential counselling services.
According to Prof Modecki, if your child has at least one close friend at school, it can make a big difference.
“If they have one kid to sit with at lunch, that’s amazing. That can make a big difference. It’s emotionally the difference of feeling completely on your own versus having a mate.”
According to The Kids Research Institute Australia, friends (64%) followed by parents or guardians (57%) and then teachers and other staff members (46%) are the people students most commonly turn to for help if they are bullied.
Boys (33%) are more likely than girls (23%) to not ask anyone for help.
